Christmas gave us the gift of not worrying for a day. We were able to pretend the problem didn't exist. We woke up with many gifts under the tree for the kids, but we both knew the other person was just holding their breath. Amid all of the laughter and smiles, I wept inside because I couldn't get Mike a proper haul.
People used to tell me that once she was here, earth side & out of my warm, safe cocoon of a belly, that I would never be able to fathom how I ever did life without her. Four months later, if you were to ask me if this has proved to be true, I would tell you no.
Cue the mom guilt. And right on cue with the mom guilt, enters an extra large side order of guilt's best friends; shame & embarrassment.